Damn it all to infinite hell. I admit it. I should have known. What was I thinking? Attacking a gazillion well-armed, angry Sioux with a few dozen Irish guys with questionable dental records was not my best maneuver. Oh well. You can’t fault someone for irrational over-confidence, can you? What-evaahh…as you say.

By the way, I will be initiating offensive actions versus anyone who attempts to steal “my look”. A recent example is that guy from “Nickleback”. There are others including Michael Stanley, Madonna and a combination of Daryl Hall and John Oates. Rest assured. My “Last Stand” will be in the court of fashion law and this time I’ll be armed with a formidable weapon…thieving lawyers.

My purpose in writing is two-fold. First, your “Indian Problems” are not as dire as they would seem. As I can attest, simply arming them with large caliber rifles should keep the “White Sox” at bay. For other adversaries I would recommend several batteries of small cannon.

Secondly, I must congratulate you on your inflexible confidence in my namesake and your leader…George Bush.

His unflappable yet flap-happy belief in what “Sitting Dick” tells him has proven to be a magical elixir for both foreign relations and domestic bliss. I heartily applaud all the good work he has done for your city as well. He is very much like me, just without the impeccable grooming and fashion sense.

Sound the charge. Damn the shampoo. Oh shit. (:divend:)