Singin' The Foreclosure Blues
With stars in hot water, can Robin Leach be far behind?

This foreclosure thing is running amok. I thought it only affected poor people. I’m really bummed now. I see on the news that the plight has reached far beyond Northeast Ohio and landed on the doorsteps of the Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous set. Ed McMahon -- the famous sidekick to Tonight Show host Johnny Carson -- has gotten himself kicked out of his Beverly Hills home. And former heavyweight boxing champion (and one-time ringside snack to Mike Tyson) Evander Holyfield is also being threatened with eviction from his suburban Atlanta pad.

I guess Ed’s $4.8 million mortgage loan is seriously past due; that is so sad! And Evander “The Real Deal” Holyfield has also been knocked to the mat, look’n to hear a proverbial ten count. He will be TKO'd from his 54,000 square foot, $10 million estate anytime now. It's enough to bring tears to the eyes.

These are just two sad stories highlighting just how devastating the foreclosure crisis has become: now it's impacted the big deals and The Real Deals. Fortunately, the housing market is ripe with misfortune and opportunity. For just one months mortgage payment these guys could buy a boarded up gem, paid in full. They'll have a roof over their head again in no time. What a wonderful example of trickle down economics -- not to be confused with fuzzy math or fuzzy dice. Like a lot of people, I thought poverty only affected poor people. I suddenly feel empathetic, because I now realize that even the rich can sing the blues. Maybe Evander's blues sound better than Ed's...?

Holyfield, at 45-years-old, and with no big fights scheduled, is in some seriously deep doo-doo. Most fighters in the popular Mixed Martial Arts (MMA)/ Ultimate Fighting realm would devour more than just his ear. Can you imagine a bout with Kevin "Kimbo Slice" Ferguson? Did you see James Thompson's ear after that last bout? So, clearly that's out. Maybe hawking countertop grills? Ed has a better chance of getting a gig and getting out of trouble... there are always lots of old-fart meds to pitch... and those talent shows formatted like Star Search are exceeding their former glory in the pop culture. Anyway, I better get to work drawing and scanning illustrations for this piece and other stories. See, the rent is due soon, and at $4 a gallon for gasoline, I’m start’n to sing my own blues... Oh Lord won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz...?

Comment and Artwork by Cool Cleveland contributor Ralph Solonitz solonitzATsbcglobal.net
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