Obama says: “Hit Me With Your Best Shot”

“If you don’t know where you’re going any road will get you there.” -- One of the messages from The Wizard of Oz.

In light of recent victories and near victories in North Carolina and Indiana the level of angst and anger among Obama supporters over the use of Rev. Jeremiah Wright (which, to my mind was a non-controversy all along) is beginning to recede a bit. However, I’m actually hoping that the issue never entirely goes away... and it probably won’t.

My logic is simple: As long as this preacher brouhaha is the best thing Obama’s detractors can hit him with he’s going to be just fine heading into the general election this fall. Just keep the yahoos and hate mongers focused on silliness, trivia and non-issues, and they won’t be coming up with real dirt to try to hit the senator with (indeed, if there is any). Granted, the American electorate — as proven by the last two presidential elections — is pretty dumb, but it’s obviously not quite dumb enough to fall for this red herring. But we do have a history of being fooled in elections...

By far the most brilliant look at American politics over the last two decades is Thomas Frank’s 2004 classic, What’s the Matter With Kansas? In the book Frank details how Republican leaders have, since the early 80s, tricked many people into voting against their own self-interest. Propagandists like Karl Rove (who only works for people that are interested in making more and more money) raise “values” and “religious” issues to attract simple-minded voters, while the latter-day corporate Robber Barons he works for ships those self-same voter’s jobs to Mexico, India and China ... while destroying family farms and eroding the middleclass.

These brigands work a classic bait and switch: Promising to restore prayer to the classroom, to bring an end to abortion (all the while knowing such accomplishments are not remotely possible), but in the end only enriching Wall Street speculators. Now the same distraction tactics are being used on Obama, but this time I don’t think they’re going to work. This time, we know in which direction we want to head the country... we know where we’re going.

What does Obama’s former minister’s babblings have to do with lowering the price of a gallon of gas, ending the war in Iraq or providing healthcare for all Americans? Absolutely nothing, but Wright’s pulpit ranting has taken center stage in our national debate. This, by the way, is why I only attend Bedside Baptist Church — but I do attend every Sunday without fail.

Instead of asking serious questions, American media is busily scaling the wall that’s suppose to separate Church and State — when it’s not salaciously peeking under bedroom doors in hopes of a getting the scoop on a big, fat, juicy sex scandal. Shame on my profession for taking the low road... for not attempting to illuminate the high road we should be traversing in pursuit of that “More Perfect Union.”

As an informed electorate we Americans are not very demanding. We allow ourselves to be too easily distracted by the trivial, the mundane, and the outright ridiculous. Former senator and presidential candidate Bill Bradley was the only statesman who, when running for office, had the guts to tell media questioners that his religion was none of their business. Bravo for him.

Huey “The Kingfish” Long once said, “I’ll win this election unless they catch me in bed with a dead woman or a live boy.” The same can now be said for Obama, and here’s why: Foreigners are going to play the “Oil Card” in the upcoming election be we’re too blind to see it coming.

The problem is, our national penchant for self-serving, jingoistic hubris prevents most of us from viewing the world the way it really is. We bend global realities through our own unique, xenophobic prism ……… which allows us the privilege of seeing the world the way we want it to be.

However, our Achilles’ heel is oil, the one commodity we can’t ignore or do without; and oil will determine the outcome of the presidential election ... which means foreigners will determine who will become our next president. Here’s how it will play out: The leaders of the OPEC nations (like most of the rest of the world) would greatly prefer Obama over the saber-rattling McCain. And the one thing the OPEC rulers all know is, by far the number one item on the collective American mind is the cost of a gallon of gasoline ... it’s miles and miles ahead of whatever is number two.

What the oil rich countries are going to do is gradually turn off the spigots on the pipelines, which will cause gas to rise to well over $5 a gallon. This will cause the party in power to be more detested than it already is ... meaning McCain’s polling numbers will fall faster than the panties off a Marc Dann trollop. The higher the price of gas goes, the lower McCain’s numbers will go — classic cause and effect.

Then, right before the election, just in case we are so dense we missed the point — subtle messages will start trickling out of the Middle East that, once Obama occupies the Oval Office prices will once again begin to fall. Let’s face facts folks, members of the Ku Klux Klan will vote for Obama at that point if it means lower gas prices... indeed, most Americans would vote for Beelzebub himself as long as that vote would insure that the price of a barrel of oil remains low enough for us to continue our wasteful ways and selfish driving habits. That’s just who we are as a people — and that, folks, is “Playing the Oil Card.”

The other way for Obama to win is for Hillary to accept the VP slot. I don’t see how she can say no if asked... after she’s already suggested months ago that he resign himself to being her VP. And, if Obama is too dumb or intractable to put the petty grievances accumulated during the bruising primary aside and magnanimously offer her the number two spot on the ticket, then he just might be too dumb to be president.

From Cool Cleveland contributor Mansfield B. Frazier mansfieldfATgmail.com

(:divend:)