Return of the Housewife Zeitgeist
By Tracy Glover-Williams

During the past few weeks an old tree has begun to sprout new leaves and fruit. Thanks to a disparate set of events, a Maureen Dowd column, the Golden Globe Awards, an op-ed by David Brooks, and some remarks by Harvard’s Lawrence Summers, many of us have finally noticed that the Housewife Zeitgeist has returned with a vengeance. Many of us, namely feminists and other women who think too much, were appalled by Summers’ remarks and Brooks’ advice to marry and reproduce while we were young. But, the same lot seemed to be blissfully unaware of what was fertilizing and waiting to spring forth during the past ten years.

Let me suggest that the reemergence of the housewife as category, delectable babe, and occupation is deeply tied to the popular culture that we all, and that includes the “cliterati,” have so willingly and lovingly fed on in recent times. That is to say that those “Desperate Housewives” are the natural evolutionary step in a culture that has given us cocooning, Martha Stewart, Pamela Anderson, Sex in the City, hip-hop videos, Sephora stores, stripper workouts, Oprah the corporation, makeover shows, the return of über-feminine clothing and Paris Hilton. Add to this the terrorist attacks that occurred on September 11, 2001, the War on Terror, the War in Iraq, and the increasing influence of evangelical Christians in our society, and you get a potent mixture that beckons us all to return to those halcyon days when men were men and women were unquestioning. Can any of us really be surprised at the return of the housewife and the warped 1950s echo that accompanies her?

Zeitgeist means the general intellectual, moral, and cultural climate of an era. The return of the housewife is this era’s fate accompli. Think back with me to the 1990s. There is Martha Stewart reminding us all that homemade is best of all. Look how nice the towel looks if you trim it out with some lace and ric-a-rac. Yes, you can make little Tommy’s Halloween costume yourself. And, if you are organized you can get all of your holiday baking and decorating done by December 15th.

And yes your SUV and mini-mansion are your own private fiefdom. So spin your cocoons soft and comfy. Fill those bigger houses with more furniture and gadgets. No sense in having all that beautiful stuff from Pottery Barn, Crate & Barrel, and Bed, Bath, and Beyond unless you entertain. Throw some patio furniture out on the cocoon’s deck and dazzle your friends and neighbors with your hostess skills. For pointers and recipes consult Martha, Oprah, The Food Network and Nigella.

But my goodness, if you are going to be entertaining and seeing people, shouldn’t you be a vision of sexy loveliness? Don’t you owe it to yourself, and more importantly the rest of us to look your best? Ah, you can walk your way slim with Oprah, buy that Windsor Pilates system, check out The Firm, and always try the stripper or belly-dancer workout to break up the routine. Now that your abs are flat and your butt tight, you’ll need some clothes. The makeover shows and segments will show you how to look like a million dollars even if you can only shop at Target. You should be glowing, so make sure you get the spray-on-tan, bronzer, and lip shimmer. A few face-framing highlights would be awesome. Don’t forget to also research Botox, cheek implants, glycolic peels, breast augmentation, liposuction, and butt implants. Diet and workout is great, but sometimes Mother Nature needs a little nudge in the right direction.

Now you are firm, impeccably dressed, unwrinkled, unblemished and gorgeous. Your home looks like a page out of Better Homes and Gardens. But alas, if you are married maybe things have gone a little stale in the bedroom. Or if you are single, your biological clock is just ticking away. What do men want??? Oooh, I know! Check out those hot Sex and the City babes. They dress like feminine women and have lots of hot sex. Watch men drool over Pamela Anderson and her ginormous breasts. Ditto J. Lo and Beyonce and their “bootyliciousness.” See the rump-shaking, eye-candy in the hip-hop videos. Its “t & a” that don’t talk back, or have a career.

Men want women who can cook delicious meals from scratch, who make housework and homemaking seem effortless and do not need their help with childcare, who have the bodies and faces of twenty-two year olds at forty-two, and who really, really enjoy hot, dirty sex, initiate it a lot, and don’t expect any cuddling afterwards.

I mean isn’t that what God meant for women anyway? Why compete against men with their big brains and testosterone-induced ambition? You loose your best childbearing years to career building, then its infertility treatments, and finally Mommy & me Kindermusik classes because you can’t just leave that precious little one with any old nanny, granny, or daycare provider. Why that’s child abuse, or just plain selfishness.

Besides you just aren’t as smart from the start. Between political correctness, affirmative action, psychological mumbo-jumbo and other help for the weak you’ve managed to work. But take it all away, and you females, ladies, babes and girls would be barefoot, pregnant, and less educated. Which is how you should be. Maureen Dowd reminded all of us that men don’t like smart women.

Have you noticed that it is next to impossible to call women “women” in this society? And if I have one more twenty-something woman say, “I’m a feminist, but not a feminazi,” I think I’ll puke. Its like a chip was implanted at birth that causes young, heterosexual women to relinquish their ability to question the gender status quo. Or perhaps they remember all those articles about a woman over forty (or was it thirty-five) having a better chance of getting killed by terrorists than getting married, and so they’re increasing their chances for finding wedded bliss.

So yes, welcome to the Housewife Zeitgeist. Get cozy with it. Because when the Secretary of Education is complaining about PBS kids shows featuring lesbians, the founder of Focus on Family thinks Spongebob is gay, Americans give millions for Tsunami relief efforts, yet inner-city youth face poverty, violence, and crumbling schools yet no one seems to care, Dubya is shaking his saber at tyrants everywhere, and our infant mortality rate is higher than Cuba’s, nothing, but nothing is as comforting as warmed over 1950s delusions of domestic bliss and tranquility.
from Cool Cleveland contributor Tracy Glover-Williams tracy.williams@case.edu

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