An Obamanation
Ruminating on Hero Worship and Fatigue

By being seldom seen, I could not stir
But, like a comet, I was wonder'd at;

-William Shakespeare Henry IV, Part One, Act III, Scene 2

Comedian Chris Rock used to do a routine that questioned why, in most cities with a substantial Black population, the most crime-ridden street is virtually always named after Martin Luther King, Jr. The answer, of course, is that Black folks, in our rush to honor our great Civil Rights leader, usually picked the most high profile, well-traversed thoroughfare in the urban community to rename … not pausing long enough to realize there could be a downside... that the busiest street in Black neighborhoods is often the most crime-ridden. Call it the "Law of Unintended Consequences"... and it's about to rear its ugly head once again -- this time in regards to President-elect Barack Obama.

A New York City elementary school has already been renamed to honor Obama, and Cleveland City Councilman Zack Reed is lobbying to name the soon-to-be-rebuilt Nathan Hale Elementary School (located on — you guessed it — Martin Luther King Jr. Drive) after the president-elect. At least the MLK Blvd. in Reed’s ward is relatively crime-free.

Nonetheless, when Obama asked us to get involved, I think — I could be wrong, but I think — that he was asking us to do something more substantial, like going into the schools and helping by tutoring, not just taking the easy, cheap and hollow shot of naming a school after him. I can see a future headline now: “Reading and Math scores at Barack Obama Elementary School in Cleveland, OH among the lowest in the state.”

Additionally, I can guarantee you that in the school year 2013-14, the most popular name for Black boys entering kindergarten at most urban schools around the country will be Barack — which really isn’t so bad. But what sends chills of trepidation down my spine is the thought of some poor girl showing up for her first day of kindergarten, forever saddled with the name Baracka, Barackonique, or Obamanesha. What about Obamanation?

In my own Ward 7 there is a movement to name a community building after our deceased City Councilwoman Fannie Lewis …which I think is a great idea. However, there is now talk of naming it the “Lewis-Obama Center” … which I think is a horrible idea. Fannie deserves (and probably would want) a center named just for herself. I knew Fannie well, and, trust me, “sharing” only went so far with Fannie. Then, just the other day, I got an email inviting me to join some organization entitled “Kwanzaa-Obama” whatever the hell that is.

Black folks, please, please, I’m begging on bent knee, let’s not do this. You know we African-Americans have a tendency to take the joke past Broadway, but if we don’t get a grip early-on, and nip this madness in the bud, we’ll soon be seeing our kids walking to school in the morning, eating a bag of Obama Potato Chips, washing them down with a can of Barack Red Pop, while carrying — what else? — a Barack Obama backpack.

If we really want to honor Obama, why don’t we figure out a way to help these kids’ caregivers emulate his wife Michelle by teaching them how to get up off their lazy asses and fix their wards a healthy, nutritious breakfast before ushering them out the door to school in the morning — hopefully on time. Children’s brains powered by junk food learn very little — and then we wonder why they fail, and why the cycle of poverty — which ends too often with young Black females pregnant, and young Black males incarcerated — remains unbroken. This can’t be all that hard to grasp, can it? To use a trite expression, “just connect the dots.”

Talk about crass commercialism about to run amok. What’s next, an Obama Barbecue and Soul Food Restaurant run out of some half-dilapidated greasy spoon down on Short Scovill? Newspaper headline: “Obama’s Ribs Robbed for the Third Time This Month.” While, from halfway around the world: “Dozens Sickened After Eating at Obama’s House of Sushi in Kuala Lumpur.” Where, oh where, will it all end?

Additionally, have any Black folks stopped to realize how much we’re getting on White folks nerves with all of this over-the-top Obamamania? We act as if we elected the man all by ourselves — we didn’t (there just aren’t that many of us in the country). White folks put him in office — with the help of people of color. Let’s just pray that Whites don’t catch the Obama fever at the corporate level … things could get real ugly then in the marketplace: Obama Fries at Micky D’s.

At the rate this phenomenon is taking off, before the man even takes the oath of office, a group of militants will be out in the Black Hills of South Dakota demanding that racist honkys agree to putting Obama’s face on Mount Rushmore immediately — or, at the latest — right after he delivers his first State of the Union speech.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not being a “player hater” in regards to the brother. I admire our future president as much as the next person —and perhaps a lot more than most. I was one of the true believers in the success of his candidacy very early-on. But simply because we’ve had only a scant few true heroes to worship in the Black community we shouldn’t go overboard with the soon-to-be leader of the free world. Even his enemies agree that Obama is the coolest dude to come along in ages; I mean, he’s cooler than Frosty the Snowman — but a large part of being cool is not being too common.

The coolest dude I ever knew was a hustler in New York City that was known by the unusual sobriquet “Seldom Seen.” He was real tight with Miles Davis. Like all rock and movie stars, he knew that in all cultures and societies, too much access deflates value and diminishes cachet — so, quite naturally, he was “seldom seen” … but always noticed whenever he did make an appearance at the Amsterdam Avenue after-hours club we frequented back in the day.

Folks, we’re at risk of destroying Barack’s “cool mystique” by plastering his name and image on any and every thing that isn’t moving … and some things that are. We’re in danger of trivializing his “brand” by acting like a pack of mad paparazzi.

There is a real danger of “Obama fatigue” setting in if we’re not careful. He could become as omnipresent (and omniscient) as George Orwell’s “Big Brother” and that could be a loss to both him and us. We could easily wind up overdosing on the man, and soon start wishing that he would just, please, ride off into the sunset already. Fame is indeed fickle, but the American people are far, far fickler. We suffer from a national case of Attention Deficient Disorder … our collective attention span is shorter than that of a gnat’s, and we’re always in search of the newest, latest, “thing.”

There really should be a federal law that no one can use either of his names, Barack or Obama, in any iteration, until the man has at least finished his first term in office, and preferably his second. In fact, I’d like to go even further and propose that nothing can be named for any person until the person (no matter how great we feel their accomplishments were) is officially dead — whatever officially dead means. And even then we should wait an appropriate number of years. What’s happened to propriety?

Blacks certainly are not alone in wallowing in early hero enshrinement. Republicans rush to name airports after presidents as soon as they leave office, and I recall that some fools wanted to place Reagan’s visage on a new dollar bill, or some other denomination. Stop! Enough!

I could write more, but I have to run … it’s time for my twice-daily dusting of my complete set of Special Barack Obama Limited Edition, Hand Lettered, Monogrammed, Faux Gold-trimmed, Registered, Inaugural Dinner Plates.

From Cool Cleveland contributor Mansfield B. Frazier mansfieldfATgmail.com
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