If you’re a woman of a certain age and haven’t yet been to see Menopause: The Musical, what on earth are you waiting for? And even if you’re not a woman or not yet at that certain age--what’s your excuse? Here’s your opportunity to find out how the other half lives. Be prepared! The only persons who should not see this show immediately are those recuperating from recent major surgery. All that laughter is hard on stitches, or that portion of your anatomy where the stitches used to be. (Just wait a month or so after they’ve been removed. By then you should be safe.) Otherwise, there is no acceptable excuse for your delay. None.

The off-Broadway hit didn’t originate in Cleveland (it’s originally from Florida) but this is a home-grown production, and four more talented women you’ll never find on any other stage. If there was any justice at all, Menopause would run forever! If you are that woman of a certain age referred to earlier, you’ll absolutely revel in the super-talented cast of ladies who are fast approaching that magical age of the ‘change’, if they’ve not already reached it. Three of them are what might be called ‘a lovable armful’ but of course, it’s the skinny one who gets all the ‘fat’ lines. Typical.

Based on four types of women—and really, it’s quite accurate—and using hit songs, mostly from 1956-1984, with re-written words, MTM is dynamic, insightful and downright hilarious. Imagine the lingerie counter at Bloomingdale’s during a sale, and a confrontation between Power Woman, Soap Star, Earth Mother and Iowa Housewife. During the 90-minute performance, the stage becomes various floors of that store, but usually with a 'ladies room’ close at hand.

The performance featured Tina Stump as Power Woman (and was she ever!); Marynnn Nagel as Soap Star; Dyan Beder as Iowa Housewife and understudy Jean Zarzour as Earth Mother, a role usually played by June Lang. They are all Equity actresses who can sing and dance and put a song ‘over’ as easily as most of us breathe. They take turns at being featured in the spotlight, and whichever three aren’t out front are playing back-up à la the girl groups of the fifties and sixties. At times, they all even display an awesome talent whaling away at the air guitar. Whatever they do, they do it together, providing support and alternate viewpoints on the same basic theme: ‘I didn’t know the change could be so cruel.’

As talented as the Cleveland performers are, however, it’s important to recall that the new words were written by Jeanie Linders of TOC Productions, and they’re masterful! She refers to this as a ‘celebration’ and indeed it is. The 250 or so seat theater was filled, and a goodly number of those in attendance had seen it before. It’s easy to know this, because they sing the NEW words along with the familiar music. For instance, I Heard it Through the Grapevine becomes “You’ll Never See Thirty-Nine…” and Chain of Fools is now “Change of Life”. “She’s a witch” fits nicely into the chorus of “The Lion Sleeps Tonight”.

Tina Stump as Power Woman (and was she ever!) embodies the business woman off to important board meetings, as long as she can remember where they are, and what she’s supposed to do when she gets there. Dressed quite differently (a black leather bustier and short skirt with stiletto heels) she quite literally stopped the show with a dead-on imitation of Tina Turner’s What’s Love Got to Do With It?

Maryann Nagel, the Soap Star, revived the oldest song, the 1933 Heat Wave into a Marilyn Monroe knock-off with the words changed to “tropical heat flash.” It wasn’t quite fair of her to accuse the gentlemen in the audience (whose heads she patted for evidence) of having hot flashes themselves, when her performance would have raised the temperature in an igloo.

Earth Mother, aka Jean Zarzour, was a bundle of energy greatly reminscent of ‘That Girl’ (Marlo Thomas) with her sparkling big brown eyes and dark brown curls bouncing as she danced and sang. Dressed in a warm-up suit, she complained “Puff, I’m draggin’” to Puff, the Magic Dragon.

But it was the fresh-faced, blue-eyed, wholeome-looking Iowa Housewife of Dyan Beder who brought down the house. Wearing a long black negligée, she sang a love song, Only You to her vibrator, while, behind her, the other three ladies demonstrated the no-see, no-hear, no-speak philosophy. Earlier she’d done a straight-faced tribute (?) to her thighs set to “My Guy”.

Between the musical numbers there was chatter, with nearly every line being a punch line. “I look in the mirror…and see my Mother!” or “I used to be a size 2,” followed by the response “So did my right leg!”

Co-Directors Kathryn Conte and Patty Bender (who doubles as Choreographer), Scenic Designer Miranda Clark, Lighting Designer Ginny Adams and Costume Designer Vickie K. Bast are part of the Florida team. Music Director Gary Rusnak is from New York while Sound Designer Richard Ingraham has worked at the Cleveland Play House. Overall, it’s the dynamic ladies on stage who make this production work. See it for yourself and show your support for this gem of a show. Tickets for Menopause: the Musical are available through the Playhouse Square Center box office, by calling 241-6000. 'by Cool Cleveland contributor Kelly Ferjutz (:divend:)