Dueling dialog that's unsafe at any speed

Tisha Nemeth: The past couple months I've been exploring Western culture's fascination with physical perfection, specifically in Cleveland due to the overwhelming media fascination with voluntary plastic surgery. Does this mean that individuals with scars are not on the same level as those with plastic surgeon enhanced, idealized bodies? I thought idealized figures were limited to classical statuary...are people now attracted to fake, exterior appearances, to the point of imitating statues?

Deb Remington: It depends - do you allow artificial enhancements to the body to be a part of the definition of perfection? Another question related to that theory of self modification is, why are Americans afraid to age? Why can't wrinkles and scars be celebrated - they define our journey through life. Shouldn't we take ownership of our experiences instead of being ashamed of our bodies?

TN: From the scar standpoint, it's a feeling of not being "whole." But I've given up on completeness; to be entirely whole and unblemished is almost a sacred thing. Realistically, most people are not whole, but fragmented (either physically or mentally). Deb, you're a teacher, and witnessing an interesting juxtaposition occuring with some of your students who are on the opposite spectrum, those who cut themselves to feel whole. The "SI" (self-infliction) behavior type, placing little or no value on being scarless.

DR: They insist that cutting is a validation of life. It is a way for them to visually express their pain and to punish themselves for behaviors they don't understand, but you'll hit up the scar issue in your Kafka, Corsets and Beautiful Scars commentary this week in Cool Cleveland. As for the perfect body, it's important to realize that the most dangerous scars are usually held inside the self (psychologically), and not necessarily represented on the outward body. A wounded spirit can be lurking in even the most outwardly "perfect" body; there lies the danger of judging people based on their physical appearances.

TN: Next topic...what's up with you?

DR: My brain cries over people criticizing how this country is run but can't or won't take time to vote.

TN: We meet and listen to many people in Cleveland who are full of dissatisfactions, and yet they don't actively pursue ways to change or improve what they're dissatisfied about.

DR: That approach is a cop-out...I'm too much of a 60's child to put up with that shit response. One can be much more tolerant of people who vote and then complain; at least they're accepting responsibility for their political position. As someone who works in the school system and experienced the loss of a levy by 3 votes, I can assure you, at least on the local level that every vote truly does count.

TN: I want to talk about why you were up in arms the other night...

DR: About how weak my cosmopolitan was?!

TN: No, over your amazement how people can purchase 1.5 million dollar homes instead of investing it in their children's education...

DR: Or in their home furnishings...

TN: Yeah, it's weird getting invited to events in these mansions without furniture because the owners blew all the cash on the mortgage (yes, this is based on a real experience)...it's out of control when people use homes, or any inanimate object as an exterior example of their identity and self worth...

DR: While their kids are struggling with their own self identity issues without the help of their parents; some families work so hard to impress their upwardly mobile circle of friends that they find little time to spend with their children. Kids end up raising themselves or others take on the responsibility of parenting to pick up where the parents left off.

TN: And they expect the kids to be satiated, having material things thrown at them to compensate for what the parents don't provide emotionally or relationally.

DR: That's why there are gangs, cults and of course drugs and alcohol to provide the sense of psychological "security" that kids are not getting at home. And don't forget to throw in a few razor blades as well for those "SI" tendancies...but then kids could always get pregnant to create someone to "love" that might potentially even love them in return...

TN: This is the reality you see with kids and what they're doing in your classrooms; they spend time talking with you and me about the deficiencies in their own homes. They're talking to people outside their family, instead of their own parents to receive understanding and guidance as to why they feel so conflicted, even to the point of cutting themselves, joining gangs and indulging in more drugs than we ever had access to during high school. Meanwhile, the parents are fretting about making their ends meet and that 1.5 mil house payment. Shocking? Not really...welcome to the reality of educating and working with kids in the 21st century.

Deb: Actually, I thought it was now the school's responsibility to not only educate, but also provide total emotional, psychological and social support for children.

TN: I know you're being sarcastic...

DR: Think again...by the time we're through teaching hygiene, appropriate behavior, social skills, conflict mediation and two healthy meals a day, not to mention listening to their personal problems and providing hugs when necessary, there's little time left for the basics of education. It's the truth...and this is pretty much across the social-economic realm. If all parents would do their jobs (raising their children), then teachers could do a better job at theirs (e.g. teaching for the damn proficiencies that determine a school district's self worth), but then we're talking "public" education, not private.

TN: What's the difference at private schools?

DR: Private schools can kick out children with behavior problems, whereas we at public schools are extremely limited in our ability to permanently remove students who consistently disrupt the learning environment due to lack of guidance and attention from their families.

Catch the next installation of MBIC: literary risk taking, the local media, plus provincial thinking and the creative process! (:divend:)