Are all Bosses Idiots, Jerks or Tyrants?

Cool Cleveland contributor TL Champion shares her humorous frustrations with the daily rituals of modern life in Cleveland, exploring the idiosyncrasies of human beings and the world around them.

It’s like they sign a contract and swear-in on the first day of duty, promising to uphold the reputation of all idiots who have gone before them. I liken it to boot camp for corporate America’s upper management.

It’s a Nationwide Epidemic of Catastrophic Proportions

You know who I’m talking about: The Boss. The man or woman that has your life in their hands – and knows it. And the sheer power of it all is the reason they get out of bed in the morning. They eat nails for breakfast and middle management for lunch. You either do as they say or hit the road.

I’ve heard that some companies won’t hire people into upper management unless they pass the idiot/jerk/tyrant test. Those that fall into the “nice” or only “slightly creepy” category are passed over for those that lack the ability to mentor, have no compassion for human beings or walk with their knuckles scrapping against the pavement.

We Called Him “Kong”

Okay, so I called him Kong. But others followed without much prodding or coercion, because he was angry, hairy and ape-like. And if you think about it, most bosses are. In personality, if not in physical form.

Wild Versus Corporate Apes

The following test will illustrate my point. Take a look at your boss versus the behavior of wild apes in the jungle. Tell me if you see any parallels.

1. Apes in the wild yell and scream and push their weight around when they don’t get their way. How does your boss act when the numbers aren’t right?

2. Wild apes will lure you into a false sense of security, then attack when you least expect it. How did your last request for a raise go?

3.And last but not least, apes get jealous of those under them in the hierarchy. They watch, they anger and they attack. Have you ever had a boss that’s taken credit for your “big idea” after he slammed you for it?

I’m telling ya, it’s gorilla warfare out there. My advice? Keep your head low, don’t establish eye contact and carry lots of bananas.
from Cool Cleveland contributor TL Champion (:divend:)